Honest Truths About Traveling Alone

People usually gasped anytime I said that I was out there (wherever I was at the time) backpacking by myself… And even more gasps and fake faints upon the realization that I was traveling by myself – as a woman.

I get it, but at the same time, I don’t.

What are we all really afraid of? Is it because, as women, we are prone to more danger than men? Is it because we are really perceived as the weaker sex – that we need people around us to protect us all the time? Or is it because of just the mere fact of being by one’s self that we fear? The loneliness… The being alone part?

Well, do you want to know the truth? 

In my experience… When you’re traveling by yourself, you’re hardly ever alone. Not really. Unless you want to be.

I was gone for over 18 months. The trip was mine.

And most of the time, I was only really ever truly alone while I was traveling from one place to the next. On the plane, the bus, the train, or the car. Yes, there were moments when I chose to wander off somewhere by myself, but I think a little isolation is part of the experience.

If I weren’t visiting my family or my friends, I was either Couchsurfing, Voluntouring, or staying at hostels.

ACCOMMODATIONS = LOTS OF PEOPLE

Couchsurfing

When I Couchsurfed, I was very lucky about the hosts that I stayed with. They were very accommodating, generous with their time, and I ended up either hanging out with them, or with the other couchsurfers staying there, same time as me.

This is my Couchsurfing host, Karen, and fellow surfer, Dulce :)

Work Exchange/Volunteering

When I was “voluntouring” via Helpx and Workaway, I was working with other volunteers, and I usually found voluntary employment in hostels or B&B’s. I was constantly surrounded by people, and constantly meeting new travelers!

This is how we did lunch while I was working for a hostel in Italy

These were my fellow volunteers working for a luxurious B&B in Umbria, Italy

This is us, folding sheets, while volunteering at a hostel in Tel Aviv, Israel!

When I stayed at hostels… well, this is when I had to get a little smart and creative.

First of all – I chose to stay at hostels that had a really nice common area. I had a tendency to choose the smaller ones with a more homely vibe. I was very diligent in doing my research, and I read a LOT of reviews. It’s just that the smaller ones with a good common area sort of draw people in, and the space invites the guests to hang out… therefore making it SO much easier to meet people.

HBB Hostel in Sao Paulo during the World Cup!

I have NEVER been in a situation where I didn’t make at least 1 friend while staying at a hostel. As a matter of fact, the acquaintances usually start right at the moment when I check in. If someone there sees you with a backpack, it’s automatically – “Hey! Where u from? What’s your story?” And BOOM. Instant best friends.

Instant besties at our hostel in Lisbon, Portugal

Second – when you are by yourself, and people see that, they usually are the ones to approach you anyway. I’ve always believed that people, in general, are kind. And if they see that you’re alone, they’ll reach out and include you. 

Instant Friends from our hostel in Rome!

So if your excuse is that you’re shy --- then tough luck. You can’t wiggle your way out of this one because people come to you regardless. They introduce themselves to you, they invite you to tag along with them… Trust me. There’s usually always at least ONE person in the whole hostel who will act like the host/ess, or the glue that will turn the whole joint into an organized (sticky) group tour. And most of the time, if you’re lucky, that person is me.

Obviously it helps if you have a more outgoing personality, and making friends with strangers is second nature to you. But even if I think of myself as one, I do have moments when I get a little shy or embarrassed to start up a conversation. I learned though, that sometimes even just a little smile goes a long way. Or a stupid question like – “Do you know where the toilets are?” or “Hey, what kind of currency do we use in this country?”

Once when I tagged along with these Danish girls to go and get all muddled up in the Dead Sea! This mud is magic, BTW

One time, I bumped someone on purpose and said, “Omg I’m sorry! HEY! Nice shirt! Where are you from? I’m Eartha.”

Lame. I know. But we ended up being friends and traveling together for 3 days!

Just remember that most of the time, they are just as scared as you are when it comes to these things… you know, like meeting strangers. But keep in mind that strangers are friends you just haven’t met yet!

TOURS BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER

Another thing that I did quite frequently was go on Free Walking Tours, or random city tours and excursions. These usually lasted for about 1 to 3 hours long, and about 80% of the time, the whole group ends up having lunch, dinner or drinks together afterwards. Instant buddies in a strange land!

Friends I've made on a walking tour in Athens

I went on a Greek Hiking Tour once and I was in Santorini by myself. On the boat on the way over, I met a few groups of girls, and we all just sort of ended up in a little pack. We exchanged emails and we basically hung out with each other the whole time I was there. I even ended up traveling to Mykonos with one of them randomly, and her and I became really good friends.

My ladies in Greece! We are still friends :)

DANGERS ARE EVERYWHERE ANYWAY

OK. When I look back on all the places I visited, I think I was on my guard the most while I was in Argentina, and Rio. I was heavily warned by both travelers and locals, mostly about pickpockets and such. And I did see and feel danger while I was there… that everyone was just wary of one another.

My bag got stolen when I was in Buenos Aires. It was a rookie mistake. I was in a very posh area of the city, having lunch with a friend. I usually do not let my purse leave my body, but on this occasion, I put it on the ground next to the wall and I was stepping on the strap. Sadly, it was still swiped from under me without me even noticing it. I regret being stupid. But then again, I was having lunch with this gorgeous Uruguayan model and I think anyone else would have been just as distracted.

He is a real person. His name is Fernando. Dangerous.

In Rio, during the 2014 Carnival, it felt like the dangers were a lot worse. So I didn’t even bring anything out with me. My money and my lipstick were stuffed in my bra, and I had nothing in my hands. I hardly even brought my camera out. I relied on others to just send me the photos they took.

Trying to protect my dignity in Rio!

But in all of these instances, I always had my wits about me. I was smart. I never walked alone in the dark by myself, and I never allowed myself to put myself in dangerous situations. I always had a keen sense of awareness, and I always carried my pocket pepper spray!

In hindsight, I was very lucky that in all the traveling I did – getting my bag stolen from under my nose was the worst thing that happened. And I’d like to think it’s because I put my adult hat on and took care of myself pretty well.

THOUGHTS ON BEING ALONE

During the moments I was actually on my own (pretending he's beside meee...), it wasn't so bad. The thing is, when you are in some form of isolation, you really end up learning a lot about yourself.

For instance, I learned that when I'm by myself, there is a LOT of internal monologue going on. I talk to myself constantly, and I narrate as if I were telling myself the story of what is currently happening to me. 

For example... "Oh... I can see that there is hail. Right. I am right in the middle of a hailstorm and I am freaking out. It sounds like someone is shooting a machine gun at my car. Oh my God. What shall I do? I will stay calm and keep driving. Just keep driving... Just keep driving driving driving.... Oh look, a rainbow!"

Is that weird?

Yeah this was my drive during the internal monologue you just read above.

One of the most significant alone times of my journey was when I was driving through the North Island of New Zealand. It was during the first leg of my trip, and I was driving through the most beautiful landscapes I have ever seen in my life, on a right hand drive car, up and down a mountain. I was completely out of my comfort zone in a completely strange land, populated by mostly sheep.

Meh-eh-eh-eh-eh!

I felt completely isolated - and with that, came a little fear, but that's okay... Because along with the fear came a little courage, and a very strong sense of self awareness. I realized that as I was talking to myself... comforting myself through this whole process - I made myself laugh. It wasn't so bad learning that I actually liked my own company -- and THIS is very important self-love stuff.

One of very many "scared" selfies I took, driving in NZ on my own

Your location plays a lot into the experience too, because it's hard to achieve a good sense of solitude when you are surrounded by the noise of the city and society.

But when you are in a place as beautiful as this....

Gasp.

...things become really clear. Outward silence bring inner silence, and it is usually then that you learn your life's greatest lessons. 

I remember feeling that I was exactly where I was supposed to be at that exact moment. I remember feeling grateful that I made the decision to take a leap of faith. And I remember thinking to myself, that I must always remember that when I am alone, I am not necessarily lonely. 

All I know for sure is that I felt more alone when I was living in LA than I did when I was traveling the world solo. And while I was out there, I learned a great deal about myself that I never would have known had I stayed in the comfort of my old life... trapped in the four walls of society.

These experiences of solitude tested and challenged me to understand who I really am and what I really wanted out of my life. And because of this, I am a better and happier person. 

AND SO

Now that I have experienced both traveling by myself and with a partner, I can definitely say that there are perks to doing both. It's great to travel with someone, yeah... But it's equally satisfying going on a trip by yourself.

I just think that if you've been wanting to go on a trip of a lifetime but you're putting it off because you're still waiting to meet that one person to go and travel with... Well, you may as well toss that suitcase out because I think you may end up waiting a very veeerry long time.

Don't postpone these kinds of adventures because of the fear of being alone. You're never gonna get to do anything if you keep giving into those reasons why you shouldn't do it.

Believe me, if you go, you'll end up having a great time, make a ton of friends - real ones, and I bet --- you're probably even going to meet someone special while you're on the road. It's happened to me a few times... and trust me... A little romance never hurt anybody ;)

I heard someone say that the "You only live once" quote is false. "You only DIE once," is more accurate. And I completely agree. You do only die once - but you live EVERY DAY. 

So let's make it count. 

If You Were Stranded On A Greek Island...

What would you do?

OK, well, I'm not exactly stranded. Not really.

After I left The Pink Palace in Corfu, I ventured out into Athens for a few days to be a proper tourist. I saw what I needed to see over there... The Acropolis, the Parthenon, plus a whole bunch of other ruins made familiar to me by Greek Mythology.

The Acropolis from my hostel balcony

View of Athens from a hill with my walking tour buddies

NAXOS

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

3 full days and a 6 hour ferry ride later, I find myself in Naxos... A small island south of the main land, about an hour and a half away from Santorini. I am here for yet another HelpX adventure... Well, if you can call it that.

See, the nice thing about being in Greece in October is that it's not too crazy, the tourists have left, and the weather is perfect. Not scorching hot, but sunny enough to get a tan. It's nice. The downside to being in Greece in October is that... because the tourists are gone, most of the hotels, hostels and businesses close down shop... If you're in a big and bustling city like Athens, you're fine. It'll just be a bit quieter but it's still really nice.

BUT... if you're in a tiny village in a relatively less touristy island like, Naxos... Well... it makes you come up with blog titles like, "If You Were Stranded On A Greek Island..."

In all fairness, I was warned by my host that it is off season, the work would be very light, and that it will be very relaxing. I'm staying at a small hotel right in front of the beach. There are no guests, and the only occupants are myself, my boss, and his (very sweet) mother who doesn't speak English.

When I got here, my boss basically said that I wouldn't need to do much till the rain comes, so I should just relax. They showed me to my room, fed me some amazing Greek food, which were all pretty awesome.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

After a day of staring at the clear blue Mediterranean waters... It occurred to me that I might actually not know how to "relax" properly! Seriously!

I am here in Greece... Staying at a beachfront hotel - for free... I have the sea, the sun, food, nature... I can swim for miles in the water so clear and so flat, I feel like I could just keep swimming till I hit the horizon... And yet, I'm stressed out! Because in my mind - there is absolutely nothing to do! What the hell is wrong with me?

This is where I am. The village of Apollonas, from my hotel room balcony. I am really
lucky with balconies!

I don't know, man. Maybe because I signed up to work... and if there's no work, I feel unproductive. I am about 2 hours away from Naxos town, so I can't really leave to go "exploring". There are no guests to talk to or entertain... No kids to drive me nuts... My boss is a little quiet, and his mother doesn't speak English.

I've had an amazing experience traveling by myself so far, but I think this is the first time I've actually felt really alone. I have discovered that I am not meant for solitary island confinement. Island living, sure… but there has to be people in the island!

I feel a little guilty for feeling this way… Especially since I know for a fact that most of the people I know back home would rather be where I am right now, instead of whichever cubicle they are in. Then again, just like everything else, I suppose there should be a good balance.

Solitary confinement in a beautiful island versus a hectic 12 hour workday in a bustling city life could hardly be compared to each other. Give me a nice island after a productive 6 hour day of work with good company and I will be as chipper as a woodpecker!

Oh well. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t make the most out of any situation… And so I will do my best to even out my tan, read as many books as I could, swim some laps in the ocean, maybe do some hiking out in the mountains – and who knows… I might come out of this gig all refreshed and healthy :)

Thursday, October 17, 2013

There is a lightning storm on the island. The waves are crashing violently, all the stores are closed, and we are trapped inside the hotel for the rest of the day.

HELP.

OMG I'm In Greece!

"Holy Shit," I whispered as my forehead hit the airplane window with a thud.

Right before my eyes was the small island of Corfu, birds eye view, and it was stunning! THIS is why one must always book the window seat. My heart was still a little broken from leaving Italy, but seeing the blue-green waters of Greece sure helped heal it pretty fast.

You SEE that Double Rainbow, right? Right??

Greece has always been one of my ultimate dream destinations. I LOVE Greek Mythology... I'm a big fan of Greek food... and I really like the movie, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (yes - more than Mamma Mia).

Admittedly though - I hadn't really heard of Corfu till a few weeks ago when I booked this HelpX opportunity. I don't know anything about it (I still don't!) and I'm not sure it's as popular a destination for tourists as Santorini, Mikonos or Athens.

BUT... After having been here for like, 2 days... I have to say I really like it here. :) It's gorgeous... The water is warm, and while almost everyone else in Europe are donning sweaters and gloves, we are still strutting around in our bikinis and flip flops! The weather is amazing!

I'm working at a hotel/hostel called The Pink Palace. It's a great party hostel (voted number 1 party hostel in Europe a few years ago) with really cool people, and I get along with my "boss" really well.

I initially signed on to help out with day to day stuff, online marketing, plus helping the owner's 2 children with their English (in other words, babysitting). I arrived on Tuesday, she gave me the morning off Wednesday, worked some online magic in the afternoon, all while being fed beautiful home cooked Greek food. I'd say life is pretty good at the moment! Can't complain!

I'm staying at a 4 bed dorm room which I have all to myself... but the best part is the view from my balcony.

Yes, I have a balcony... and the sound of the ocean is my lullaby.

I'm scheduled to stay here for a couple weeks - but it has become apparent that my boss would like for me to stay longer... So we'll see what happens. I'd still want to be able to see more of Greece in the next few weeks but I'll play it by ear.

I'm really loving this whole "go with the flow" travel thing. It's been working out pretty well. I'll keep you guys posted on the developments of the "Greece" portion of my trip.

In the meantime - It's "Boxing Night" tonight at the hostel bar. Apparently it's a drinking game that does NOT involve boxing whatsoever. What a disappointment.

I know, right? Life can be really rough sometimes. ;)

Θα δούμε αργότερα :)

How I Plan to Travel The World With Free Accommodations

At a recent travel event I attended, I got acquainted with one of the speakers who made a living traveling the world as a TEFL instructor. When I asked her how she got started, she told me a story of how this lady gave a talk at her school about traveling. She got so inspired that she came up to her to ask how she paid for it all, and the lady said – “Oh I just sold my condo. It went for 400 grand and I’ve used that money to travel ever since!”

“What!??” I asked, dumbfounded and annoyed at the lady in her story, whom I’ve never even met.
“I know!” she said.
“That’s completely anti-inspirational!” I added.
“Exactly!”

My new friend refused to believe that selling her non-existent condo was the only solution to being able to travel, so she did a little research and found out about TEFL. She’s been doing that ever since! Good for her! It’s nice hearing stories of how people get started, especially since I’m practically at the starting point myself. Whenever I meet travelers, usually the first thing I ask is – “How did you fund your trip?” or “What do you do for money?” I’ve heard a variety of responses ranging from “I saved up for a year,” or “I teach English abroad,” to “We sold everything we owned, and freelance while on the road”.

I’m definitely looking into all those options myself. Teaching English – maybe. Freelance – why not? I have been offered quite a few money making opportunities I can take advantage of while I’m on the road, which I will talk about the closer I get to my launch date. But in the meantime, the main goal is to save – save – save. I’ve already taken the first step by moving out. I’m also looking into getting part time work to earn some extra cash, so hopefully I’ll have a nice start up fund to kick start my tour.

But since I do not own a condo that I could sell, and I’m not some big shot executive from Wall Street who brings in the big bucks every month, I have to think about practical ways to stretch my dollar while I’m on the road. Board and lodging alone will drain out most of my funds. In fact, it takes up about 30 – 40% of one’s budget. That’s a lot of money… and I thought if I didn’t have to pay for room and board, I won’t have to worry about being a penniless ukulele player wandering the globe! I could actually survive the trip, and maybe even go for longer than I intended!

And so I got a little creative and devised a plan to go on this trip without having to pay anything for accommodations! With tremendous research, a little luck, and a little help from my friends, I present you my Grand Master Plan of Travelling the World with Free Accommodations!

1. Staying with Family and Friends

            Okay. I am lucky in this aspect. I have a lot of family and friends that are spread out across the globe, and the first leg of my trip will be heavily reliant on them taking me on as a moocher. Or as an annoying guest. :)
I will go from LA to my home in the Philippines, then to Australia to visit my cousins, to New Zealand to stay with a friend, to Japan to stay with my half sister and good friend from high school, to Dubai to stay with my friend Tina the desert fox, then to the UK to stay with my usual besties. I still haven't worked out my route after that, but I'm exploring most of Europe for sure. This is all a very rough itinerary, but I’ve already spoken with all of the above and they’re all willing to take me in. Bless them! Bless them all!

2. CouchSurfing

I’ve mentioned that I’m currently couchsurfing at a friend’s apartment but this type of couchsurfing is different. Couchsurfing.org is an organization that helps tourists become travelers by helping them experience life as locals in different cities/countries. All you need to do is sign up, and you’ll have the opportunity to either be a host, or stay with a host for free. I’ve been a member for a while now, but I haven’t had the chance to try it out. I do have friends who’ve done it though, and they sing praises about it. The subject of safety often comes up when it comes to things like these and Couchsurfing.org seems to be on the ball about it. They have a page dedicated to that subject alone, and they offer comfort by providing host information such as their references (from former couchsurfers they’ve hosted), a detailed profile, verification (to see if the host’s identity and address has been verified) and vouching. I have no qualms about doing this, and am looking forward to meeting these hosts! To give my parents peace of mind, I can always choose to stay with a woman. And I think it goes without saying that I have every intention of being a sensible surfer. I will clean up after myself, take my hosts out to dinner, cook for them if they let me, or help them out around the house. I don't think Couchsurfing is synonymous to being a leech. ;)

3. Help Exchange – (My Secret Weapon)

            Ahh. Help Exchange. Where do I even begin… First let me start with – Help Exchange is a freaking LIFE SAVER! Take a look at this ad.

Hello HelpX Helpers!
My partner and I live in Umbria, central Italy, in a beautiful house in the country with two very friendly dogs and four lovely cats

I need a lot of help working the land. We need help pruning, picking up chestnuts and other fruit, and cleaning herbs, etc. The work varies with the season and is different every day
I can offer you a room complete with bathroom and a lot of good organic food.
We will provide accommodation in our spacious guest bedroom with king size bed, three meals per day (Breakfast, lunch and dinner) with drinks, free WiFi broadband internet and also plenty time off to explore central Italy. We live only 1,5 hours drive from Rome... We are quite good fun, chilled and enjoy a peaceful life. Also, we throughly enjoy meeting new people and hearing their amazing stories about their travels!
If all this sounds good to you, I'd like to hear from you. So get in touch!

            Um – if that doesn’t make you jump up and buy a plane ticket to Italy now, I don’t know what will!

Help Exchange (or HelpX), similar to Couchsurfing, is an organization that helps travelers immerse themselves in the local culture for free. The difference is that HelpX gives you free board and lodging in exchange for a few hours of labor. You actually get to work hard for your keep! The time of stay varies per need – yours, and your hosts. I’ve seen people needing help for as little as a week, to as long as a few months. And if you stay longer, you actually could potentially get paid too! Imagine the possibilities! You could do anything from helping a couple tend to their vineyard or their land like in the example above, to working as a part time receptionist at a hip and happening hostel and make friends along the way! And after your work is done, you have the rest of the day to do some exploring!

WWOOF is a comparable organization that connects travelers with organic farmers who want to trade room and board for an extra hand. I just prefer HelpX because WWOOF limits you to organic farming. I like a little diversity in my life and HelpX provides just that!

I'm so excited about everything! The possibilities are endless! I know I may sound like a naive bright eyed little girl, but I never let my excitement overshadow my common sense. To my good friends and family members who are reading this --- Don't worry. I'll do my research and I'll be smart. I'll take the necessary precautions to ensure my safety, and if all else fails, I always have my 10 years of boxing experience to fall back on. ;)

And to the rest of you guys -- If you're up for hosting me, or know a relative or a friend who's willing to take on a fab couchsurfer next year, surf's up! I'm raring and ready to go! :)