How I Can Afford To Travel!

My most REVEALING post to date! If you've been wondering how the hell I've been able to last traveling this long, well here it is! All secrets are out in the open! This post tells you how I do it, and how YOU can do it too!

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Working On A Cruise Ship

I somehow managed to get myself a job working at a Cruise Ship. This post is an inside look on what it's really like to live and work below deck. You never know... You might be enticed to work for one too, and travel the whole world like me! Read on to find out more...

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Scotland: My Favorite Country In The World

I've been to many places in several different continents, and have seen spectacular beauty... But every time I visit Scotland, every other country pales in comparison. Read this post to find out why at this point, Scotland was and still is, in my opinion, the most beautiful place on Earth...

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On Finding My Bliss In Italy

When you go on big trips like this, however cheesy it sounds, you always do end up 'finding yourself'. And there are moments... difinitive moments when you achieve clarity, contentment, and pure happiness. This all happened to me in Italy. Read my most soulful post to date, inspired by the full moon in Italia...

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On Being Featured In A Documentary

I somehow managed to get myself featured in an upcoming documentary about "Voluntourism". This may be the big break I've been waiting for! The trailer is out - and I'm in it! It looks so good, I'm so excited! See for yourself... watch it here!

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An Epiphany At Cinque Terre

The Cinque Terre is one of my favorite places in Italy. We hiked 5 villages in one day, and it was breathtaking! But something completely unexpected happened on the hike... An encounter with a complete stranger made me realize possibly one of the most important things I need to do with my life...

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My Ayahuasca Experience

Ayahuasca, is by far, the most INTENSE thing I have ever experienced in my life. I died and was reborn. It is both horrific and beautiful at the same time... I can't explain it in a few words. You HAVE to read my story to believe... I promise it will be worth your while...

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Showing posts with label Peru. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Peru. Show all posts

Thursday, June 15, 2017

My Favorite Travel Experiences


Let me preface this by clarifying something: These are my favorite experiences while I was doing my round the world backpacking trip --- NOT necessarily my favorite places in the world.

An experience could be just that - an occurrence... or a moment... and could have nothing to do with the place I'm in. 

Well... could... not that it didn't.

It was hard to choose because I really had some of the best times of my life while I was doing this round the world backpacking trip, and there were so many moments worth mentioning. I wanted to put more, but I consolidated it to about 10. It's still a lot - but all worth it, I promise.

If you've been reading this blog from the beginning - get ready to be nostalgic. If you've just stumbled across this blog - then get ready to have your mind blown. :)

Here it is...

10 of my Favorite Travel Experiences (in no particular order)

*Click on the titles to read the full stories behind these moments



1. George's Heroic Rescue - Rio, Brazil


On my last post about my worst travel experiences, I talked about how my friend, George, who was still practically a stranger back then, saved me from what would have been a horrific Couchsurfing Experience. To recap: after finding myself in a very compromising position with my Couchsurfing host - George swept me off my feet and offered his home to me, a stranger, with no questions asked... which basically restored my faith in humanity. His kindness kept me going, realizing that there is still genuine goodness in this world. He is why I love traveling to begin with! Meeting people like him!


2. The Japanese Tea Ceremony - Tokyo, Japan


How many of us could say they've been dressed up in an authentic Kimono and served authentic green tea by actual Japanese tea masters in Japan? I had such a fun time feeling like Mulan while I was being dressed, and I was so impressed by how delicate and graceful the whole ceremony was. 


Please bring honor to us... Please bring honor to us...

The Japanese Tea Ceremony, I felt, was an exact representation of Japan: Traditional, simple, beautiful. I was so sad to get out of that Kimono, but will always be grateful for the time I spent wearing it, drinking this wonderful tea.


3. The Wall At Gubbio - Perugia, Italy

While I was volunteering at a small, posh, bed and breakfast in Umbertide, I had made a special friendship with 2 of my fellow volunteers - Eduardo and Riccardo. On one beautiful, sunny day, our hosts gave us their car for the day to explore and enjoy our time off. We ventured out into a small walled city, Gubbio, and just hung out and spent the entire day there. We stopped walking for a bit to take a break, and we sat - literally on the wall of Gubbio, overlooking  the beautiful country, and basking in the sun.



The three of us spoke about how similar our stories were... quitting our jobs to explore the world and explore ourselves... Trying to find our bliss. Eventually all our hearty chatter turned into transcended silence, as Riccardo played an Italian classical song, aptly called, "The Journey" on his phone.




Three strangers - turned good friends - on an old historic wall overlooking a field in the blazing sun- right smack in the middle of nowhere, Italy - enjoying life and each other's company. It was then that I realized how content I was with who I am, and with where I was at that point in my life. I was just there, completely present, and insanely happy. It was - the very definition, of feeling infinite.



Eduardo, Eartha, Riccardo = Love

To this day - I think about that wall and remember... that that feeling is what everyone should be able to experience, at least once in their lives. And I will forever be grateful that I did.

(*Editor's Note: My article - "Finding My Bliss In Italy" is still one of my favorite blog posts. It's not as popular as the others, but it's one of the ones where the words truly flowed from my heart)


4. The North Island Road Trip - North Island, New Zealand


At the first leg of my trip, going around New Zealand was the first time I was actually completely alone.  I had rented a car to drive a completely foreign land, all by myself, on a right hand drive car (read: completely opposite of what I'm used to). This experience was special because this is when I truly felt like I was out of my comfort zone. I was scared, yes... But I think this was also when I found real courage.
I drove through a high and dark mountain during a hail storm in a tiny car, literally thinking - "I could die here, right now..." but being okay with it, because I was just ape-shit happy I was out in the world, doing what I really wanted to do... Instead of being stuck in a cubicle. And I was in New Freaking Zealand... I just had laser eye surgery a couple months prior, and my eyesight was just beginning to heal. I remember thinking that everything started to look like it was in high definition, which even heightened my experience further. The country is just so devastatingly beautiful, I was constantly out of breath, even if my jaw was on the floor from awe the whole time.



YES. This is a photo I took after the freaking Hail Storm! I know, right?

I was so in tune with the Universe, I kept feeling like I just knew I was on the right path. It was amazing... and I can't wait to go back to explore the South Island the second time around.


5. Impromptu Snowboarding in Sierra Nevada - Granada, Spain


I was in Granada and I had no idea there was even snow! When I found out that Sierra Nevada was basically not even an hour away from the hostel I was staying - I was determined to snowboard up there, no matter what!

And so at dinner in the common area of the hostel - I announced to anyone who would listen that I was going Snowboarding in Sierra Nevada the next day, and asked if anyone was interested in going with me. One of the girls who just arrived said - "I'd go! I just don't know how..."
"Well..." I said, happily... "I happen to be a very good trainer! Buy me a drink and we're even?"
"Done deal," she said! And off we went!I love it when things like these work out... It was almost too easy :)



It was so beautiful up in the mountains, she turned out to be such a great student, super fast learner, and after about an hour of training in the Bunny Slope - she was up there with me doing Black Diamond runs! Ah-may-zing!

This was a completely unplanned event, we had a wonderful time, came back to the hostel exhausted but soooo satisfied.

I love this experience because it was totally unexpected, unplanned, but completely worked out - like they always do in the end. It was nice to have a little break from the whole backpacking trail and venture out into the snowy mountains just to have fun.


6. The Scottish Highlands Bus Tour - Scotland


I've always said that Scotland is my favorite country in the world. After this tour - I basically sealed that statement forever, locked it down, and threw away the key. I am obsessed with this country! The MacBackpackers Bus Tour we had was made epic by our tour guide, Graeme... A kilt-wearing true blue Scot, whose heritage runs deep in his veins. He had stories and fables and legends for days... His passion flowed through his words - made me want to pledge my allegiance to Scotland and take a knee!



Castles and Mountains and Glens and Faeries and Rivers and more Castles. It was like a fairy tale come to life - with amazing tour mates to boot!
I love Scotland forever!


7. Ayahuasca - Cusco, Peru


Of course, Ayahuasca. My mind-altering hallucinogenic encounter with Pacha Mama. I went to Cusco to take a 3 day Ayahuasca retreat to go through this intense experience, in the hopes of achieving clarity... To know what to do with my life as my round the world journey was coming to a close.

Because of this, I've known what it's like to die and be reborn. I've been put in touch with the universe and my own divinity, and everything... EVERYTHING became clear after ingesting this drug or medicine or brew. It changed me completely... And once you've gone down this path of enlightenment - there's no going back.



It was because of Ayahuasca that I decided to take a leap of faith yet again, and move to Brazil. Apparently, it was something I knew I wanted all along - I just couldn't see it because of my fears. This is probably one of the most monumental and noteworthy things I've ever done - not just on this trip but in my entire life.


8. Volunteering in Huaycan - Lima, Peru


What really led me to Peru was the opportunity to volunteer at the organization called The Light And Leadership Initiative. As a volunteer, I taught English as an after school program to these underprivileged kids in the poorest section of Lima. I lived in a volunteer house with 11 others, the fiercest, most kind-hearted people I've met, right in the middle of the little Huaycan community.



It was just so rewarding, being allowed to be a part of this organization that helps out this much... And I was so excited to be able to contribute my skills and talent, to benefit these beautiful and sweetest children who were just so eager to learn. I fell in love with these kids, the organization, and the simple lives we all led back in Huaycan. Even if I was only there for a short while, the experience was so special, that Peru will always hold a soft spot in my heart. What an amazing organization - and how lucky am I to have been a part of it...


9. On Calling Brazil Home - Sao Paulo, Brazil


When I moved to Sao Paulo after my Ayahuasca "visions" told me to go back to Brazil, I didn't know what to expect. I was broke, running on credit, and had no idea what I was getting myself into. But the stars aligned right from the first day I got there. I was surrounded by good people, I found an apartment after 8 days, got hired by 3 different companies as a "Freelance" English teacher (read; Under the table), and acquired 4 private students. I knew I was there for a reason...

It wasn't without its struggles though... I had to learn a little Portuguese to get me by because people hardly spoke English. It was a little expensive over there that I was living from paycheck to paycheck. But what the hell... I was living in Brazil and I lived like a local! Ate their food (more like devoured), used their public transportation, tried to dance the samba, pretended I was interested in football, and towards the end - got mistaken for a local Brazilian! I've made it!




It was great to experience life in Sao Paulo. I felt like I truly blended in, was so blessed to be constantly surrounded by such bright lights - amazing people, literally friends that I will have for life, and I will always think of Brazil as one of my homes...





Surviving in Brazil was something I consider to be one of my greatest achievements. I had nothing when I got there... I completely relied on blind faith and pure determination that I was going to do my best to make it work - and it did. I worked my butt off, but also felt like something cosmic was helping make doors open for me. I was being guided (as I often felt like I was during this adventure) by an invisible force... And as incredibly cheesy as this may sound -- I really think that it was the force of love that made things so great for me. The Universe knew that I summoned all my courage to be there because I was following my heart.




It was in Brazil that I realized that what my friend, Maui, told me was true: I really DO bloom where I am planted. If I made it there, I can make it anywhere. :)


10. The Shanti House - Borzonasca, Italy

My short stint of volunteering at the Shanti House completely shaped my Italian experience. We had Italian guests (who are more friends than guests, really), Italian owners, an authentic Italian cook (with a moustache and a permanent cigar on his mouth), way up in the mountains in the small little village of Borzonasca, away from civilization. Seeerrriously... can't it get any more Italian than that!?



It was my first volunteer experience via Help Exchange - and is probably the best, too. So many things happened at the Shanti House, from discovering my inner Italian, to being featured in a documentary, to having a little Italian romance, to being a part of this huge Italian family (who, to this day, still asks me to go back there).




When I think of Italy, I think of the Shanti, and our many nights filled with food, wine, cheese, great music, friendship, passion and love.

Italy is not Rome or Venice or Florence. 
Italy is a very small little commune in the northwestern part of the country, in the province of Genoa, up in the region of Liguria. Where the earth is lush and the wind is fresh... The heart of Italy is in the Shanti... and my heart will always be with them.





TADAAA!


That's 10! It has been such an awesome journey... And it's exciting to think that there's so much more to look forward to. 


I really wanted to add a lot more to this list... But I guess that's the beauty of keeping this website running... You can always just poke around my blog archive and see for yourself.... Then you can let me know which stories you liked best. :)

I realized I've frequently been looking back on the stuff that I've done in the past... My glory days, so to speak... I think maybe it's time to start talking more about the things I have been up to as of late...

Until next week :)




Thursday, May 1, 2014

My Trip To Machu Picchu!



If you're looking to get some inspiration or tips for hiking up Machu Picchu, then I'm afraid this post is going to be a big disappointment. I conquered Machu Picchu in the laziest way possible. Seriously, if an alpaca was available to hire, I would have paid an exorbitant amount of money to have one of those furry things carry me on their back while walking around Machu. That's how tired I was.

If you've been following my blog, I'm hoping you'll understand why the prospect of hiking one of the wonders of the world after just finishing the Ayahuasca retreat was more daunting to me than exciting. My energy was drained, my stomach was empty (I lost about 3 kilograms from pooping and purging) and all I really wanted to do was lie down and let my bed consume me.

BUT. I really am not one to let an opportunity pass, so exhausted as I was, I managed to book a day trip just to SEE Machu Picchu at least, and take the obligatory photos.

See, ordinarily, people take the Jungle Trail or the Inca Trail -- which are 4 - 5 day hikes that end up in Machu... I hear it's supposed to be fun and beautiful and blah blah blah... And I'm sure it is... But then to be completely honest, even if I didn't do Ayahuasca previously, I wouldn't have booked any of those tours either. I just feel like I'm all hiked out this year, you know? After hiking all the villages of the Cinque Terre in one day, I think I did enough hiking than I am capable of in a lifetime.

Besides, I've done a few more smaller hikes here and there throughout the year, and I just lost the will to subject my legs to any more climbing if I don't have to. I'm tiiiired!



ANYWAY... so... What I did was book a bus from my hostel in Cusco to Pisac, took a Train from Pisac to Aguas Calientes, took a bus up to Machu Picchu from there, and voila! I was greeted by the guide (which was included in the booking) took me and my new tour group in and around Machu Picchu for a few hours, I stayed for about a half an hour more after the tour, and I left! (Tip: Don't forget to get your passport stamped once you enter the gates. It's free, and the stamp looks so cute on your passport!)



** TRIVIA... Did you guys know that the famous photos we see of Machu Picchu - isn't ACTUALLY Machu Picchu, but a mountain called Wayna Picchu? You are taking the photo FROM Machu Picchu - but you're looking AT Wayna Picchu. (Photo above is an example)
Oh and the mountain is shaped like a face! Facing up! Do you see it?
Mind blown. O_O


I then took the bus from Machu back down to Aguas Calientes, took the train from there down to Ollantaytambo, and took a collectivo (sort of like a posher version of a bus) back down to Cusco!
I started my day at 6 am and got back to the hostel at around 8:30pm! All of this, including transportation and entrance fee's, cost me around $230 USD.

It's EXPENSIVE, but there's no way around it. The trains to Machu are costly... and the entrance fee alone costs more than $50 USD... Foreigners have to pay almost twice as much as the locals do too, so the prices really add up.

However, when one is in Peru, one really must not pass up the opportunity to visit the 5th Wonder of the World, so no matter what the cost - I think I would have gone anyway. This would have made me visit 4 out of the 7 wonders this travel year alone (Petra in Jordan, Colloseum in Rome and Christ the Redeemer in Rio are the other 3)! Busy year! Amaaazing year! :)

Machu Picchu is beautiful... It looks and feels exactly like you would expect it to from the photos. It is unfortunate that I didn't meet any alpacas or llamas though, but I did have a good time all the same. And because I have nothing further to say on the topic... Here are the obligatory photos :)












Sunday, April 27, 2014

My Ayahuasca Experience



What's a stronger word for, "intense"?

Whatever you come up with will probably not even come close to how all-consuming the Ayahuasca experience is. On Monday night as I was on my knees a half an hour after taking the disgusting "medicine", purging my guts out and begging for mercy in my native tongue, I actually thought I was going to die.

But I didn't! On the contrary, I am more alive than I have ever been! This experience is no joke, so be prepared to hear the tale... of my story as an Ayahuasca Ceremony Survivor!



AYAHUASCA - What is it?


It is a powerfully psychedelic South American brew made from DMT (Dimethyltryptamine) containing plants. Some call it a medicinal tea that helps cure diseases like cancer, or depression, while others see it as more of a way to access to another spiritual dimension. (More detailed information here)

This brew is (or should be) consumed in the presence of a shaman, due to several rituals that are performed before and after the intake. After having gone through it myself, I don't think anyone should ever take it unsupervised because it won't be safe! You need the shaman (and a staff of assistants and nurses) there to guide you, otherwise your experience might prove to be ineffective or even dangerous.


MY AYAHUASCA RETREAT




I signed up for a 3 Day/2 Night Aya retreat at a company called, Etnikas. (Read about how I ended up learning about Ayahuasca, and WHY I decided to do it here.) They were recommended by a friend, and they have raving reviews on Trip Advisor. Their retreat house is situated in a remote place about 45 minutes away from Cusco where I was staying because of a day trip I planned to Machu Picchu. It worked out pretty well, scheduling the retreat first, then booking Machu a couple days after.

A day before the retreat, all the participants were asked to report to the Etnikas office for a volcanic-water-cleanse. We were instructed to fast and not have any breakfast that morning for the cleanse to be - eh - smoother. So basically, we all had to down a few liters of effervescent volcano water, and wait for our bowels to move... And we had to keep drinking till our poop was clear! There had to be nothing left!

I gotta say, it was really a great way to bond with the other participants... running into each other on the way to the bathrooms, asking each other if our poops were clear... We were set to be friends for life!

DAY 1 

We all reported back to the Etnikas office the next morning, and we were asked to fast for the entire day. They brought us to their retreat house in Motnaña Alegre, and after a few awkward introductions to the staff and the shamans, we began our ceremonies.

They explained how things were going to work, what the schedule was going to be for the next 3 days, and gave us a tour of the place. It was beautiful... definitely conducive.


View from my meditation spot
Then they did this ritual... I think it was meant to invoke "Pachamama" or Mother Ayahuasca... They had a bunch of materials laid out, like feathers, stones, totems, all of which had a symbolic meaning. One is meant for protection, one for health, one for love, etc... The shaman blessed all of it, wrapped it in a black piece of paper - which was meant to trap all the negative energy, then blessed all of us one by one.







After that, they dismissed us, asking us to use the time to meditate and think about what we wanted to get out of Ayahuasca.

Now at this point, my head was already sort of throbbing from a migraine that sprouted from altitude sickness. I hadn't acclimatized to Cusco's altitude yet, and I wasn't doing very well. I wasn't allowed to take any meds because it would interfere with the effects of Ayahuasca, so all I could do was drink or chew coca leaves... And it wasn't working.

FIRST DRINK 

After what felt like an eternity of waiting, we were all finally ready to do the Ayahuasca ceremony at 8pm. The staff laid out 10 sleeping bags (one for each of us) with a corresponding bucket right next to it in a room that fit all of us snugly. We were asked to bring our own bottles of water, and 2 rolls of toilet paper.



Photo from Makeithappen.co.uk
We took our places in a room, slipping comfortably into the sleeping bags, sitting up. There were about 3 or 4 assistants (including a nurse) that were present, along with the shaman and - I think his wife. The ceremony started with a prayer to Pachamama, asking her to bless this ritual, proceeded by the shaman blessing all of us with tobacco (he blew it in our faces and bodies).

The staff knew about my headache so the shaman skipped my tobacco blessing - which I appreciated. Otherwise I would have used the bucket next to me prematurely.

And then the drink.

God... how do I describe the drink? It's a mix of three things... Ayahuasca, water, and something else that I can't remember. The liquid is brown with little bits and pieces of floating bark... and it is, without a doubt, the nastiest thing I've ever tasted in my life. For realz. It's gross.


Photo from Etnikas.com

We were all given a full cup each, and we had to down the entire thing... as in chug it! Uuullkkk! Thinking about it now makes me gag.
After drinking, they turned the lights out and we all waited in silence... waiting for the medicine to take effect. How do you know it's taking effect? Ha. That's the worst part.


PURGING


You purge. You purge like you've never purged before. You purge like you're vomiting your soul out. You throw up, and you feel like you just want to die for it it to end. It's awful. Really, completely, horrible. Even the sound that comes out of you is otherworldly. Purging in that room sounded like there was an exorcism happening.

About a half an hour after the drink, one by one we started reaching for our buckets and we puked. We were instructed to get down on all fours for us to purge easier. And once we started going, an assistant or a nurse rushed to aid to hold our hair back, stroke our back, stroke our stomach, give us our toilet paper, and give us water afterwards. I gotta say, they were an integral part of the process. It's like you *need* their assistance, love, and support to be able to get through it. And they give it to you completely. I wouldn't have survived without them.

After we were done, the assistants asked us to lie down and wait. Usually the hallucinations start happening after the purge, and this is when the shaman starts chanting as well.

I waited.

Nothing.

One of the assistants came to me and asked - "Do you have any visions?" and I said no. He asked if I still had a headache, and I said yes. He thought for a second, and finally said - "I think you should take another drink."

"Noooooooo!!" I begged... Not another one of that nasty concoction! "Just half a cup", he offered.
I really had no choice. If it was necessary, then so be it. A few minutes later he came back with another cup half full, and I downed it without breathing or blinking. The sooner I got it over with, the better. I crawled back into my sleeping bag and waited for the purge to come.

It came, I puked my guts out, and laid back down.

Again... Nothing.

"Do you have any visions?" He asked me again.

"No," I sighed.

A few minutes later, the shaman himself came to sit beside me to perform some ritual. He was chanting a few things, blessing me with this nice smelly oil that had 32 different types of plants, and blowing tobacco over my head. I think he was trying to cure my headache... which I have to admit, sort of helped.

But alas, no visions came to me that night. And so I retired to my bed and slept.


This is sort of what it looked like when the Shaman was blowing smoke on my head.
Photo from ayahuascashamanism.wordpress.com


DAY 2

I was feeling a little left out when the group started talking about their "beautiful" and "intense" experiences. They all spoke of symbolic visions, colors, patterns, animals, love, etc... and the shaman was interpreting it all for them.
The shaman said that my headache really got in the way of the medicine working properly on me - and I get it. I was in too much pain to be in a psychedelic state probably. He did assure me that "tonight is your night" though, so I wasn't worried at all. 

After getting our blood pressures checked by the nurse, we spent the entire day in "Noble Silence", keeping to ourselves most of the time, finding a spot in the retreat house to meditate... 

At 8pm, we all assembled into our little sleeping bags once again with our trusty buckets and water and toilet paper in tow. I was asked to stay right next to the shaman this time - I suppose so they could make sure I had instant access to him if the drink didn't work.


SPIKING MY DRINK

Now, because I was right next to the shaman, I could see everything they were doing. And while they were preparing the drinks for us, I saw the shaman squirt some black liquid into one of the cups. Best way I could describe this black liquid is that it looked like black, thick paint. The assistant then used a tiny tong to mix it... and she was mixing it vigorously.
Just as I had suspected, they handed that cup to me. I was just given an Ayahuasca power boost, spiked with Ayahuasca concentrate! These guys were serious business! I gotta hand it to them, making sure I had my visions that night, and doing everything in their power to make it happen!


Photo from taboojive.com

I chugged it down, and it was even NASTIER! It had more bark in it! It felt like I was swallowing pieces of a bloody tree! YUCK! YUCK! GROSS! ULK!

Purging was even worse! It was harder to throw it up because of the little solid pieces... and it was so horrible. Soooo awful... it's the stuff of nightmares! Really!

But soon after I laid back down, I started to feel something really odd. My heart was beating really fast, and the room was spinning.

The assistant came to my side and whispered, "Do you have any visions?"

Finally... I said - "Yes".


PSYCHEDELIC HALLUCINATIONS

The first hour or so was the worst. My heart felt like it was going to beat itself out and explode out of my chest. I could see colors, prisms, shapes, all pulsating to the beat of the shaman's chants (or maybe to the beat of my heart, I can't tell). I could see a very clear image of a bird... At first, I thought it was a peacock. But a few days later, after having seen so many of the Cusco merchandise in the markets, I recognized the bird from my vision --- and it was actually a condor. The Andean/Incan symbol for the upper world in the sky.


This is an image I found online that BEST resembles what I saw while hallucinating. Almost
Exactly what I was seeing. Imagine that, but moving and pulsating. Now do you get why I thought
the bird was a peacock?
This is Ayahuasca Visions by Skyer on Deviantart.com

I can't explain how I felt properly through words, but I'll try...  

It's like the drink wants you to let yourself go and surrender to the power of Ayahuasca, but instinct tells you to fight it... So I fought as hell to keep my sanity for as long as I could... I kept pulling myself back to reality. I was making weird noises so I could feel my throat vibrate... I was touching my face to make sure it was still there... But the drink was so strong... Maybe too strong... and I was freaking scared. The most frightened I've ever felt in my life... I FEARED for my life. I thought I was going to die...This is what I mean by needing a stronger word for "intense". Everything was pulsating. The condor was showing me things... things that were both beautiful and overwhelming at the same time. It wanted me to let go so it could show me more... I wouldn't. I kept holding on... I held on until I couldn't anymore... Then finally, I purged again. Much worse than the first time.

I was convulsing a little bit, after it was over. I couldn't stop shaking.  I remember being on my knees, saying, "Tama na... Please, ayoko na... Ayoko na..." which is me, begging Pachamama to stop, in Tagalog. The assistant asked me to lay down... she tucked me in... and I remember holding on to her hand as long as I could...
Until finally, I let go. I let go of her hand, of my resistance... I let go of everything. I surrendered.

Then that's when the real visions started.


PACHAMAMA AND I

I don't want to go into full detail about what I saw - because some of it is extremely personal... But let's just say that I was shown a possibility of an interesting and different future, if I let go of certain fears I have (or had).
Most of what the other participants saw were very symbolic. Some saw themselves pregnant and giving birth to themselves... Some saw wolves... Some saw themselves melting into the ground and being reborn... Two people had visions of making love to Pachamama herself (one of which was in the form of a snake... but let's not get into that)

My visions weren't symbolic at all! Mine were VERY literal. Clear. Like I was seeing a movie of myself being shown to me through a projector. I had asked for a little clarity and guidance... And she showed me what life could be like if I took another leap of faith and acted on courage.


I remember resisting. I asked her to show me different scenarios... What if I didn't want to do it? What if I was too scared? She obliged... and showed me what I had expected... That things weren't ever going to change, and will remain exactly the same. Then she showed me the first movie again... kept playing it over and over until I couldn't watch it anymore.

I remember telling her I was tired... and that I missed my mother. After that, I got overwhelmed with an intense feeling of love... I felt a motherly presence wrap her arms around me, cradling me like a baby... This motherly feeling was something that most of the other participants experienced as well... Love. Just pure love... and it felt really good. She showed me that love was all around me... and reminded me that everything that happens in my life are dependent on the choices that I make. She said all I had to do was choose love over fear, and everything will fall into place. She showed me through images, and I understood.

I felt the medicine start waning off... I was slowly becoming more and more lucid... And I said to her, "Please... don't go... Don't leave me yet..." And then I saw - what was probably the only symbolic thing in my visions - a bright stone in my hands... Like a big shining egg... Glowing... And I held it close, until it went into my body. Before it engulfed me with light, she said, "I'm with you. I'm a part of you. I'm always here."

And that was it.


DAY 3


I couldn't sleep. I woke up still feeling a little trippy. Still a little dazed, but definitely lucid. We all gathered once again to talk about the visions so the shaman could translate the stuff we couldn't understand. Like I said, mine hardly needed any translating because it was crystal clear. I did share that I got what I needed from it, but that I was a little scared to do what Pachamama asked me to do. The shaman just said that I was strong... And that the visions I saw were coming from me... from my soul... He said whatever it is that she wants me to do, he urges me to follow it.




We did another ritual similar to the one we did on the first day. This time, we focused more on gratitude. We thanked Pachamama for the visions, and for the journey we went through with her... We were blessed by the shamans, and we burned all the materials used for the ritual - offering them all up to Pachamama.
Then - we group hugged. :)






AFTERMATH

We were asked to keep the diet for 7 more days after the retreat... no meat, no alcohol or coffee or chocolate, make love instead of just having sex... (?!?) etc... The group sort of got hit with a little separation anxiety in Cusco after the retreat because we couldn't seem to let each other go just yet. We kept meeting up for lunch and dinner in the days after, just so we could keep talking about what happened. It's almost like we went through a war together, that we needed each other to sort of keep ourselves sane. I guess there's a certain comfort that you get from people whom you know went through the exact same thing you did, and we tried to hold on to that as long as we could. I mean, I know I did.


New friends for life!

In general, I'm glad I did it... BUT I would NOT recommend it. Not to everyone. It's true what they say... That to do Ayahuasca, one has to be ready. Some even say that you don't find Ayahuasca - It finds you... Which is sort of true in my case.

It's definitely not for the faint of heart... And as I've said - the process in which you have to go through to get your big "eureka" moment is HORRIBLE. The end result is positive though, so I don't regret any of it. I think I was guided here, and I *was* ready for it... I'm in a good place in my life right now, and because of Ayahuasca, I think my life might make an interesting turn pretty soon. :)


IF YOU WANT TO DO IT

Just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. Focus on your intentions - and be absolutely positive they're coming from the right place... Meaning - that you're not just looking to get high from DMT. And please... PLEASE make sure that you do it in a safe and reputable location. Do your research first. Wherever you do it, whether it be in Brazil, Colombia, Ecuador or Peru, make sure you don't just find a random shaman on the side of the road, offering the drink for 50 bucks a pop. Someone just died doing that recently - and you don't want this experience to be fatal for you too. Find a good place, check out their reviews online... get recommendations from people. If you have to pay a little more - then so be it. As long as you're safe, that's all that matters.
When you take Ayahuasca... all I can say is, the more you resist to its power, the more painful it will be... So just let go. The sooner you do it, the better it will be. :)

If you guys have any questions about it, or want to share your experience - please shoot me a comment below! I'd love to hear from you.

If you are thinking about doing this -- Best of luck, my friend! May the force of Pachamama be with you!